taking a break

Truman (above/left) and Harriet (below/right)

So, lately we've been taking a break from fostering.  I'm not going to pretend that I was happy about this break, but I share a house with others, so their feelings matter.  I'm pretty sure Truman would be happy to have new dogs come into our house every single day.  Harriet appreciated the break, and I think it did her some good, but she did not request it, what with her being a dog and all.

No, my co-human requested we take a break for a little while.  And I wouldn't normally address relationship issues here, but since this was directly related to dog fostering, I will, because I can't imagine it is an uncommon scenario.

It was hard for me to understand why B cared one way or the other about me fostering dogs, because I am the one who takes care of them when they're here, and we already have two dogs who he has no problem caring for, so in my eyes, it's not that big a deal adding another dog. 

But he explained that it was simply the stress of having another dog who isn't as comfortable and adjusted to our home, who may or may not be fully house-trained, who may or may not be afraid of loud noises and sudden movements.  And perhaps writing that just now is the first time I've really grasped why it might be a burden on him even when I'm doing the caretaking.

Regardless of my ability to accept and understand on an intellectual level, however, I had found myself getting increasingly irritable and angry over the past couple weeks, as people asked if we were currently fostering any dogs, and I felt my answer for why we weren't to be slightly unjustifiable.  We can!  And there are plenty of dogs that need foster homes!  Why aren't we fostering? "Because my partner doesn't want to right now" was what it came down to, and that made me a little bit resentful.

So, I told him that today.  I said "intellectually, I totally respect your decision and care about your needs... but emotionally, I'm finding myself feeling increasingly angry about not being able to do something I really care about, and I'm not sure what to do about it."  This was followed up by a really good talk about what he needed from me if we were going to start fostering again, and now, he has kindly agreed to let another dog be a visitor in our house if I am a little more active about minimizing its affect on him as he enters into a potentially more-stressful-than-usual phase in the coming months of work.

As a result, we will hopefully have another foster dog again very soon, and I am thrilled about it! 

At this moment, I am sitting on the couch in the living room with my laptop, B is on his laptop in the recliner, and I am flanked by our two sleeping dogs.  It is quiet and peaceful, and I can totally understand the appeal and comfort of this little family.  But I feel such a sense of purpose from fostering dogs, of bringing another dog who has suffered because of irresponsible people, and helping that dog be comforted in this peaceful environment, even as the foster dog disrupts some of that peacefulness.  I can't wait to meet our next house guest.